


let me be next to you (i want you to breath next to me)

by freysan



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-08-24 15:30:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8377489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freysan/pseuds/freysan
Summary: Most of the time, Jooheon triumphs. He’s a good fighter anyway, one of the best despite being one of the youngest. But not all the time. And when he fails, when he falls, Changkyun hurts inside.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Fighter stage performances (and Jooheon looking daddy af in ISAC). I have been stalling it for a long time but I guess that Performance MV sealed the deal. White Girl also had a lot of feels contributed to this fic. The title itself is a line from Changkyun's part.
> 
> Just to be clear, Jooheon is an underground boxer in this fic and Changkyun is a nurse. I have to mention that in case I can't clearly depict it in the story. It's also JooKyun-centric so there's also almost no appearance of other members (except Minhyuk for maybe about 5 seconds). Seriously, we need more JooKyun fics around here. They look good together.

For every hit that lands his body, Changkyun can’t help but flinch. He will never get used to this, not after years of being with him, probably not even after more. Probably never.

The room is packed once again, sweaty bodies huddle together as they surround the square ring, cheering loudly for the two men fighting. The underground boxing scene is alive again for the Friday night, always more lively compared to weekdays.

It is hot, too hot, and Changkyun is having a hard time breathing properly. He wants nothing more than to leave, or at least to look away, as punch after punch lands on Jooheon. But he knows the older man will be looking for him as it is already rare for Changkyun to have time to watch his matches.

Jooheon does his best to fight back, give as good as he gets or even more. Most of the time, he triumphs. He’s a good fighter anyway, one of the best despite being one of the youngest. But not all the time. And when he fails, when he falls, Changkyun hurts inside. Changkyun prays tonight won’t be one of those nights of defeat. Changkyun hopes for victory.

As Jooheon’s gaze seeks him amidst the crowd and their eyes meet, Changkyun hides his own distress and smiles encouragingly. He gives a small nod and slightly pumps his fist up for him. Apparently, that is all the elder needs as he gives a pained grin back before returning to the fight, more vicious and vigorous this time around, motivated, raw energy oozing out of him.

Later, when Jooheon stands victorious in the fight, he is all confidence and pride; his head held high and smile blinding in arrogance. But when he looks at Changkyun once again, his eyes softens into nothing but gentleness and fondness, all hints of ego gone.

Changkyun’s chest tightens in a mixture of pain and affection.

 

 

 

Changkyun met him almost three years ago, back in a dark alley on his way home. Three men were surrounding him in what could have been a robbery or worse.

It was almost 4 in the morning and he just finished his internship from the local hospital nearby, too tired to run let alone fight. He held his bag close to him as they stepped closer, trapping him, when a shadow of a man holding a thick steel pipe called out. He approached them, stance threatening, as he dragged the heavy pipe on the ground. It was enough to scare the others away that when he finally lifted it and charged towards them, they all scampered away.

“Heh, that was easy,” the man chuckled, throwing the pipe on the ground where it clattered loudly before turning his attention to him still huddled in the corner.

Changkyun watched the guy wipe one hand on his jeans before holding it out to him as if in a handshake but he simply clutched his bag tighter and looked at the hand with suspicion.

“Hey, give me a break. I just helped you,” the man said, hesitantly retreating the offered hand to rub the back of his neck instead. When a few more seconds passed without a response, the man dropped his hand with a sigh. “You’re ok now, yeah? Maybe I’ll just get going.”

Changkyun felt a rush of embarrassment and guilt for his seeming rudeness as the man walked away with hunched shoulders. He quickly followed after him, mumbling words of apology and thankfulness, relieved when the other hummed in acknowledgement.

They walked together to the nearest bus station and stood silently as he finally let his guard down a bit despite maintaining distance.

“Name’s Jooheon, by the way” the man smiled, looking sideways at him.

“Ch-Changkyun,” he responded quietly, finally seeing the other better under the light of the kiosk. Small, smiley eyes gazed back at him, dimpled cheeks and shapely lips. Changkyun was charmed.

He didn’t know when exactly he turned from suspicious to trusting but before his ride arrived, they had already exchanged numbers with a promise of meeting some other time in less unfortunate circumstances. A meeting that lead to more dates.

Falling in love after that was easy.

 

 

 

“Stop moving too much,” Changkyun admonishes as he presses the alcohol-soaked cottonball firmer to Jooheon’s bruised cheek. They sit side by side in the small room provided for the boxer, a table with Changkyun’s own first aid box beside them. It’s times like this that Changkyun finds his career to be the most helpful in his personal life.

“But it hurts!” Jooheon whines with another flinch while obviously trying to sit still at the same time. He licks his busted lips as Changkyun finally puts a band aid to the small cut he have acquired.

Changkyun continues fussing over him, examining his face closely before giving a nod of what seems to be a sort of satisfaction.

“I’m considering it a miracle you’ve never broke your nose ever,” he half-jokes as his examination shifts from face to body, running his hands gently on Jooheon’s naked torso to make sure there’s no broken ribs. There’s none for now.

“Why? Are you going to break up with me if I break my nose?”

“Of course,” he tuts. “I dated you for your face, remember? If it breaks, we break up.”

Jooheon laughs breathily as Changkyun accompanies his words with opposing action, laying his head on the elder’s shoulder once he is satisfied that there is no serious injury for tonight. He feels Jooheon’s hand combing against his hair, calming him.

There is a long minute of silence just indulging in each other’s presence before Changkyun moves his head to take a peek at Jooheon, a small smile tugging the end of his lips. All it took are small, relaxed movements before their lips meet; Changkyun careful not to aggravate Jooheon’s already injured lips while the other demands for a deeper kiss.

The younger moves to sit on Jooheon’s lap, hands resting on the fighter’s shoulders while Jooheon’s hands find their way under his shirt. He tosses his head on the side when Jooheon turns his attention to his jaw, cold fingers roaming against his own warmer skin.

They barely hear quick knocks and the door opening before Minhyuk’s loud voice echoes in the small room.

“Hyunwoo-hyung and Hoseokie-hyung won both of their matches. We’re going out to celebrate, would you like to come?”

“We’ll try to follow later,” Changkyun answers for the both of them as Jooheon continues littering kisses down his neck.

“Keyword try,” Minhyuk snorts, voice laced with amusement as he shuts the door and leaves them behind.

They won’t make it, or rather they choose not to as they opt to go home, their home now after moving in together, to continue where they left off in a more comfortable setup.

 

 

 

The first time Jooheon took Changkyun to the underground boxing scene, they had known each other for nearly a year, officially dating for most of it. It took five more nights seeing others’ matches before Jooheon let him watch his actual match.

Changkyun regretted it almost immediately as he watched Jooheon get beaten up despite the other giving his own punches back. It felt different, watching others and watching Jooheon. He didn’t even finish the fight, instead leaving in the middle of it with a heavy heart.

He stood outside the venue waiting for the crowd to disperse before going back inside to find Jooheon later but the older beat him to it, finding him instead. They stood silently for a while, under starless sky covered in cold air.

“I’m sorry,” he heard Jooheon mumble, hands in pockets and a foot kicking the ground. “Was it too much?”

“Kinda,” he answered, “but I’ll get used to it.”

Jooheon let out a relieved sigh, perhaps comforted that he wasn’t going anywhere after tonight. Well, Changkyun has long decided he wasn’t going anywhere for a long time.

“Did you win?”

“Nope,” the elder chuckled.

“Were you hurt?”

Jooheon shook his head with a suppressed grimace.

Changkyun frowned. He could already see bruises starting to bloom on Jooheon’s face. There could be more under the thin cotton shirt.

“Liar,” he stated gently. His hand found the other’s, entwined their fingers together, and tugged. “Come home with me. I have some first aid kit in my place.”

“Is that another term for Netflix and chill?” Jooheon joked.

“Could be,” he chuckled. “But not before I check your injuries.”

It could have been, but Changkyun felt Jooheon had way too many bruises that night for other strenuous activities. They slept together anyway, fully clothed and leaning towards each other in the middle of the otherwise large bed.

 

 

 

Sometimes, Jooheon fucks like a fighter. Other times, he makes love like they have all the time in the world. Changkyun enjoys anything with him but he personally loves the latter one better.

That is how Jooheon is having him at the moment, on his knees and chest with the older draped over him, taking him from behind slowly, each thrust measured and deliberate. Changkyun’s face pressed on the pillow, hands clawed against the dark blue sheets, toes curled in pleasure. He feels more than hears each breath of his name spoken against the juncture of his neck and shoulder where Jooheon’s face is tucked. Jooheon’s left hand hold his left wrist tightly as the other hand wraps around his torso, pulling him back to press their bodies close. So close, much closer.

He loves it this way, his sensitivity at peak, and all he can think of and feel is Jooheon. Jooheon’s warm breathe on his neck. Jooheon’s heartbeat thundering against his back. Jooheon’s whole body, whole presence, covering him and his entire existence. Jooheon. Only Jooheon.

“I’m here,” he hears the other murmur, realizing he has been chanting the older’s name this whole time. “Always here.”

He moans, pliant as the pleasure continuously builds within him. He lets Jooheon take the lead, take his time until the heat becomes unbearable and Changkyun starts to push back more desperately against the other.

“I… Jooheon, please…” his breath hitches almost like a choked sob. He vaguely feels Jooheon render a kiss on his heated skin before a hand finds its way between his legs, stroking his neglected hardness in time with each thrust. Close, he is so close.

His climax comes when Jooheon bites his shoulder without warning, his whole body stiffening before shuddering with the powerful orgasm. He slacks down as energy leaves him, letting the other continue using his body. He feels Jooheon’s movements become more erratic as the elder chases his own orgasm. It doesn’t take long before warmth spills inside him, with Jooheon growling what seems to be a distorted version of his name.

The two of them falls together in tangled limbs and sated body. It takes a while before Jooheon manages to find enough strength to clean the two of them up as Changkyun can’t even be bothered to move.

 

 

 

“You know I love you, right?” Jooheon’s hushed voice filters through Changkyun’s foggy mind minutes later when they are both contented and cuddling in bed.

Changkyun lifts his head pillowed in the elder’s more solid chest to take a look at him, wondering what might be running through his head. He sees the shadow of worry and insecurity hidden behind the initial, ever-present affection and he knows, vaguely, what Jooheon is thinking. He knows Jooheon knows. Jooheon knows that he is hurting every time he sees him in his fights. And that Jooheon himself is hurting because of it. They have been here before, talked about it a dozen times, and still, if Jooheon asks him now, his answer will remain the same.

_“Don’t you get tired of me? Of my line of work? Don’t you think you deserve better than this? Somebody better than me? You should go and live a better life.”_

_“No, Jooheon. I will never get tired of you. I only want you. I don’t deserve anything better because I already have the best.”_

Because Jooheon is more than a boxer in the dingy chamber. He is more than brute strength and raw energy. Jooheon is also a caring soul and considerate heart. Jooheon is also the one that spends his early mornings with Changkyun before he retires for the day after his 12-hour night shift in the hospital. The same person that takes care of him at night before the two of them goes separate ways for work. Jooheon is the one who’s slow to anger and quick to forgive, the person who always has a ready cup of hot chocolate matched with a warm smile and an even warmer hug whenever Changkyun’s job overwhelms him. Jooheon is his pillar just as much as he is Jooheon’s support.

These things he would like to tell him now but the night is getting deeper and they are both exhausted. They have the whole day for themselves tomorrow. Right now, all Changkyun can do is to prop himself up on his elbow and turn Jooheon’s face towards him, catching his stare in hope that his eyes can show all the emotion he feels.

“I know,” Changkyun says, his gaze steady and unwavering. “I love you, too.”

He only lowers his head for a kiss once Jooheon’s eyes shines again with understanding, with acceptance and joy. Once Jooheon knows Changkyun’s heart.

_“I’m not going anywhere, especially not away from you.”_

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, done! Is this the part where I apologize for wasting your time? (._.)
> 
> Please leave anything for the attention-starved me. Thanks! \\(^o^)/


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